I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
