my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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