porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
