I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Holy sore nipples Batman
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize