In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
