we're blogging at a bar
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
