If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
