what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
