some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize