If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
