Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
