He uses pillows to masturbate.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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