I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
