he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
