I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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