If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
