I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
