i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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