i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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