I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
