Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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