Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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