Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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