Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
