so that wasnt chicken after all
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
