i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
