I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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