She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
