Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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