and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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