We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
