there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
