I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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