Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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