i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize