OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
