i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
