is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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