My Higher Power is John Stamos
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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