was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
