god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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