you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
