bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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