the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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