I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize