Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
