I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
