What did we do last night that was yellow?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
