Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
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