dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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