why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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