...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He? As in you personified your dick?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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