Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize