to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
