I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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