How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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