I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
