No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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