I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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