idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
