if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
