No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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