i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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