dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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