quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Randomize
