Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
