guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize